Is Silence Golden? – part 2
Nov 17th, 2009 by admin
Mental silence is a state of calm that we reach when we stop the noise and quiet our minds.
Mental silence requires not only external silence, but also inner quiet. Oftentimes we have internal conversations about how we handled something, or what we should have done about a certain decision, or we cheer ourselves for having handled something well, or chastise ourselves for not having met our own expectations, and so on. In fact, most of our waken time we are engaged in some sort of internal dialogue about one thing or the other. This inner dialogue facilitates the processing of experiences, thoughts and feelings and, when balanced, creates emotional stability, psychological wellbeing and appropriate responses to internal and external challenges.
This internal dialogue is very valuable because it allows different parts of ourselves – the impulsive part, the guilty, the confident, the critical, the responsible, the insecure and so on – to be heard and listened to. The final decision is often based on negotiating the different views held by all these parts. Inner dialogue, thus, makes us more self reflective and makes our decisions more balanced.
At times, however, some parts become too predominant and drown the others. So, for instance, if all we hear is the critical part that disapproves of our choices and actions, we feel guilty for what we do and bad about who we are. It negatively affects the way we see ourselves and the way we interact with the external world. We then tend to make decisions based on these feelings.
I wonder if the nearly constant external noise some people surround themselves with is at times an unconscious attempt to distract us from this internal chatter. If it is, it may achieve its goal, but only temporarily. Soon, in fact, this internal chatter will come back. We then get trapped in constantly distracting ourselves as the only means of managing it. In order to control it better and more consistently, instead of distracting ourselves, we need to pay attention and listen to it, feel the emotions associated with it and understand why it is there and from where it originates.
The ancient practice of meditation is a way of creating mental silence in the midst of our very noisy lives. Quieting our minds creates room for self-observation and self-reflection and stops this internal chatter. Let’s make room for it and practice it daily.
Psychotherapy is another means of providing a quiet place where we can collect our thoughts and get in touch with our emotions. Our focus and attention are turned inwards. This process provides us with increased insight into the workings of our minds. In turn, insight allows us to make better and more appropriate choices that come from a deeper understanding of the issues and the emotions associated to them. In the psychotherapeutic setting, the presence of another person – the psychotherapist or the counselor – who listens, facilitates, supports and empathizes without being judgmental, critical or demanding turns this process into a healing experience that re-creates psychological balance.
Do you have a place in your life that is noise-free, where you can reflect and get in touch with your thoughts and feelings? Do you practice meditation? How has this practice changed the way you see yourself?
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