Almost 50% of affairs for women occur with co-workers and more than 60% of affairs for men begin in the office. This is a clear indication that it is people in our daily lives that ignite passion and create situations where lust can be experienced, even if people do not realize what is happening until much later.
More recently, online affairs have become as popular as office affairs, as virtual proximity and accessibility substitutes for physical proximity and daily interactions. We have already discussed the characteristics of online affairs, so here we focus on real time infidelity.
An office co-worker can become attractive for different reasons. These reasons can occur concurrently or individually. The following are some of the most common:
- The friendly ear:
A person can become the friendly ear that listens and empathizes with one’s stories of dissatisfactions and unhappiness. He or she seems to be available when needed, with unlimited patience, interest and empathy. It becomes comforting to get together and support each other. From here, the relationship can grow and morph into something more personal, more special and intimate.
- The unexpected:
At times at the beginning of an affair neither person plans to get deeply emotionally entangled with one another, but this happens gradually, almost unnoticed. Intimacy develops with increased sharing, a sense of being understood, valued and appreciated. The step from being friends to being lovers is often quite short.
- The sexual allure:
At times a person is seen as sexually attractive and alluring from the very beginning. When this person is around, there is an electricity in the room that cannot be ignored. Thoughts about that person start to creep up even when he or she is not around. Obsessive thinking and fantasizing develop, with increasing intensity and frequency. If the other person responds to this attraction, an affair develops and blooms. This relationship may evolve into a deeper one or remain exclusively sexual. If it remains strictly sexual, typically is short-lived.
- The soul mate:
Often this is the evolution of the friendly year scenario we discussed before. As the couple gets to know each other more intimately, they discover they think the same, they like the same things, they have similar goals and views of life. They seem to be on the same wavelength, so there is little need for words to communicate to one another. This relationship can become sexual, but does not have to in order to become powerfully attractive and highly emotional for both people involved.
- The attraction of youth:
For someone who is reaching middle or late middle age and sees his or her looks change, the allure of a younger person can be quite powerful. These types of relationships typically don’t last for a long time, as differences in age and being at different points in life create a wedge that later on affects the relationship, often dooming it.
- The High School sweetheart:
People look up old friends on line of see them at reunions. These are friends from a time in their lives that felt good, pregnant with possibilities and the whole future still in front of them. When people reconnect, old feelings are at times rekindled. Couples feel they already know each other quite intimately, even if they have not seen each other for over thirty years. This feeling of familiarity provides comfort and encourages trust. Often, when old High school or College sweethearts see each other again, they don’t see who they are today but who they used to be. This experience seems to occur in a time warp, catapulting the people involved to earlier and happier times. It is the wish to recapture this time and the feelings associated to it that makes these relationships bonding because they have deep roots and very intense emotions and enduring.