Week Thirty Eight - A Day in The Life - Aurora Borealis
Meteorologists call the aurora borealis the silent fireworks, because of the beautiful display of colors and patterns in the night sky.
Well, this is what I feel about what happened between Paul and myself last week. We had a very good session with Marsha, where we discussed our future together. In fact, it was Paul who brought it up and wanted to know what to expect and how to make it happen. Marsha had a lot of positive things to say about us as a couple, and about the progress we both made since we started working with her. It made us feel very good.
Paul talked about how I reminded him of his mother when I was angry with him, and how he treated me the same way he used to treat her, shutting down. I listened to him telling me this, and he listened to me when I talked about my frustration and my feelings of abandonment when he left me out and did not want to discuss things with me. It was a healing session, as both of us truly connected to the other’s feelings and needs and did not attack each other, but truly listened. We all agreed – the three of us – that Paul and I will spend more time together and start planning for him to move back home.
That night Paul and I went home together after sepnding some time as usual at our local bar, and it was magic! I had thought in the past how it would feel like to have Paul in the house again. I had thought it would feel awkward, uncomfortable, strange, but it was nothing like it. It felt SO NATURAL, as though Paul had never left and the two of us never had the problems we had. Our love making was gentle, new yet so familiar. Our bodies seemed to know where to go to find what they needed, almost without any awareness on our part. I realized how much I had missed him and how lonely my life had been without him.
We promised each other to be more considerate, more honest with our feelings, less superficial, more sensitive to our own individual issues and to talk about them, rather than acting them out.
I know this is a honeymoon period and it won’t last forever, as I am now much more realistic about relationships. However, Paul and I just want to enjoy this time together, no matter how long it will last.